Lumière du monde

No...
This is not happening again...
I do not want this...
Please don't...
I have been tortured by those nights back then...
I don't want it again...

A contradicting feeling...
Two sides of my heart pulling apart...
I really don't want to go through this torture again...
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At the brink of the end,
Marks a start of a new year...
Wishes, didn't come true...
Dreams, left with no clue...
Regrets, sure to be there...
Sadness, not to be shared...
Disappointments, we all have...
Covered with bruises, all was bashed...
But need not afraid for the time has come...
To put down the past and say "Hi" to dawn...
New targets and new expectations...
New year filled with new sensations...
Hope to seek and find what's right...
Now is the time to stand out bright...
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There are times...
The times when we'd finally call it a day...
and you get to lie down...
and you get to think...
This is the time...
I guess...

What have I been doing?
I can say out loud that my holidays are far from boring... Instead, I missed the boring days sitting in front of my laptop...
I've been running around...
I've been killing myself...
All for the sake of what?

At this time last year...I didn't get the chance of writing down what I think about my life, because I was at the Youth camp...I have made a prayer at this moment last year...I asked Lord..."What am I to You? What can I give You?" I've already knew the answer...What can I give when everything I have was given by Him? He gave me life...and a purpose with it...So, I continued..."Lord, show me Your wonders...Use me in according to Your will...Strengthen me in every way so that I may be Your disciple...You know what's best for me...and I pray that You'd take hold of my life for I'm willing to let You rule my life...Valley or mountain, I pray that You'd always be with me..."

He is a God always listening...
He listened to my prayer...
and answered it...

2010...
A year too hard to forget...
Actually I can't find any words to describe how this year had been...I can only say that I'm glad that my prayer was answered...A tough year indeed...but with the Lord with me...I fear nothing...
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Starting to get emo real bad~
I really will miss you guys...
I will enjoy this last performance with you all...
I will try to remember every last note we play together...
I will keep these memories tight and secure...
Who knows when we'll have the chance again...





I was right to be stupid that time...
It was the smartest dumb move...
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Tidying my room is one of the hardest thing to do...
'Cause the old memories will be recovered among the chaos...
Then comes the painful part...
When you have to decide whether to keep or throw away...

Cherish, I have...
but the gone can't be retrieve...
and so I've threw away what's left...

Till now, I still can't bear the pain when I'm reminded...
Thought you should be fading away...
But it was only me dozing off...
And there you are when I open my eyes...

Letting go is twice as hard as picking up...
Half way there I guess...
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The end is only a begining of another better end...
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I thought I couldn't make it through...
Not after looking back and realized how far we are apart...

Hope you see that as well...
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The closest stranger...
We have grown to know each other so deep...
Only to find it hard to even say hello to each other...

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Some choose to close their doors...
Seperating themselves from the outside world...
Burying themselves in their own dream world...

Some choose to open their hearts...
Acting foolish acts to random people...
Wasting precious time on useless matters...

Do it if you want...
Do it if you like...
Just be prepared...
To say goodbye...

Farewell dear future~
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Know why my mind is so jammed...
Sometimes, I wanna lie to myself...
That you have your reasons to do this to me...
Sometimes, I just give up...
And put myself in a devastated situation...
If only I could ask you...
If only you would answer...
Maybe it wouldn't be such an headache now...

But you chose not to let me know...
I couldn't understand...maybe I'm meant to understand you...
Sometimes, I will dream back those times...
When I purposely stayed back...
Every last moment...stayed crystal clear in my memories...
For I tried to remember them whenever wherever I could...
Terrified, that it might leave me someday...

How long have it been since that day...
You never said a goodbye...
A few times, I tried to approach...
A few times, my courage falls...
Now I'm too afraid to try anything...
Fear for disappointment filled my mind...

I still wanna thank you...
For showing me how real this world is...
For teaching me how to smile and cry at the same time...
I've wondered...
Am I just a tiny bit in your beautiful life?
Throwing me away is O' so easy...
Just to let you know...
Throwing you away is impossible...

I've forgotten to tell you back then...
It's rude not to say goodbye when you're leaving someone...
A "hello" must end with a "goodbye"...
Well...
I know it's hard for me to say...
Hope it's the same for you...
Even if we are to say it...
I want to say it together with my blessings...
Hoping you will remember to pray daily...
Hoping you will remember to eat regularly...
Hoping you will remember to sleep early...
Hoping you will remember to smile gladly...
...
Hoping you will remember...









This PolyU Project is driving me crazy~





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The answer's yes...
After what you've gave me...I don't know how to face myself again...
You've hurt me not in one single way...
But continuous blow kept on coming...

This is not at all...
How we thought it was supposed to be...
And nothing we can say...nothing we can do...
Can take away the pain...the pain of losing you...
But...
We can cry with hope...
We can grieve with hope...
Cause we know our goodbye is not the end...

Never have I know...
Anything so hard to understand...
And never have I questioned more...
The wisdom of God's plan...
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I can only imagine,
what it will be like...when I walk by your side...
I can only imagine,
what my eyes will see...when your face is before me...
I can only imagine...

Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe will I be still?
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah? Will I I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine...

Little or big things...Light or heavy...
They have touched my heart and paved a different path for me...
Every moment, I was reminded that I should be grateful...
'Cause I believe...only by this Grace could I be typing out this article...



Sometimes deep at night...
Your image came across my mind...
and in my dreams...you're like a distanced light that I couldn't reach...
Even how tired and exhausted I am...I tried to get to you...
I kept my eyes on you...
So afraid that your face will be a lost memory...
Now...
I can only imagine...
Will I stand still in awe...
The moment I reached you...
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I shouldn't be sitting here actually...but I know I can't sleep if I don't do this...
Well...things just ain't going the way it should be...or maybe the way I THINK it should be...
Once again I asked myself...Should I torture myself with all of these? I could just close my eyes and act like nothing ever happened...I am worned down and torned to pieces...I keep on telling myself I am heading for the ground and my world getting darker...The music fades out...The hopes burn out...Yes, I'm not feeling right, not feeling fine, not feeling what I want to......

I know I shouldn't...but human are weak...and wicked...
I just feel unfair and unjust watching the lives around me shining brighter and brighter...
and yet I'm dimming...
No, it's not fair at all...
In my own scale, these aren't fair...these aren't appropriate...

I know who to look for..,
and I should do that now...
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Days...came nearer...I still remember you know? When we cherrish the days not seperated...
I know...There's no way turning back...and no point as well...
What can I do? After this few hours...we might as well become real strangers...
But day after day...You remain hovering in my mind...
Hanging by a thread...
Clutching on to the memories...
Day after day...I asked myself...the same questions...
My hands are still holding the line too small to see...The thing left that connects us...

Go...as you want...
This line that's connecting us...will always be here...
Keeping it in my heart...the safest place I could find...
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It didn't left me at all...Yes...It hurts real bad...
Listening to all the words about it...
Finding answers to reply the questions about it...
This is really killing...honestly...

Why?
Am I really injured that bad?
I hate this feeling...and putting salt on it ain't helping anything...
I may put on a smile...
But inside...
I'm crying for help...
I'm dying for someone to save me...
I'm shouting...
I really really don't know...til now...not one word...not one answer...
What really happened was all too quick for me...
And it's building up itself inside of me...
One day...it will surely burst out...like the magma pushing it's way up the crust...
I hope the day it explodes...no one will be around me and witness it...

Even my writing was affected by it...
My mind couldn't organize properly whenever it hits me...
My sight couldn't be put straight whenever I'm reminded...
O I really cried to my Lord...I'm really a weak and wicked servant Yes I'm...
What knowledge and talents given by You...I have not double it...
I did not do what I'm suppose to instead I fell into the pits of the world...
Drawn into it and stuck inside it...
I've failed...over and over...

Ache...in my heart...and my body...
Tired...in my soul...and my mind...
Why...have I been worn down and torn to pieces...
Like shattered pieces of a mirror smashed on the floor...
Bits and bits lost...A hard puzzle to put it all back together...
With my hands...I couldn't repair it completely...
Pieces destroyed into dust...blown away by reality...
I couldn't get a mirror just as before...

But it be my hand that can't do things like this...

I forgotten that I have a Father above all wisdom and knowledge...
I pushed aside the Father that watches and cares for me above everything...
The Father that loves me...The Father that forgives me...
I just have to come back to Him...and beg for His mercy and forgiveness...

I want to kneel down...Lay all of myself down to Him...
I really failed...I'm really weak...
O what words can I say...No words can express the feeling I have...
I want to say my sorries so eagerly...
Neither shout nor scream can express...
Neither cry nor yell can relieve me...
Whole-heartily...I give myself up to You...
You lead my way...now and always...
I know I will somehow grab away the decision making authority...
Because I forgotten that I couldn't do that...
When I think I'm free to do what I want...
I forgotten that I'm just a free bird in a large cage...
I need You...more than anything...
But I keep letting You down when I turned away and give my love to other things that I shouldn't...
Forgive me...
Relieve me...
Receive me...
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What day is it...and in what month...
This clock never seem so alive...
I can't keep up...and I can't back down...
I've been losing so much time...

All of the things...that I want to say...
Just aren't coming out right...
I'm tripping inwards...you got my head spinning...
I don't know where to go from here...

Cause it's you and me and all of the people...
With nothing to do...nothing to lose...nothing to prove...
And it's you and me and all of the people...
and I don't know why...I can't keep my eyes off of you...


(lyrics from lifehouse--you and me)


They kinda expressed what I feel...
No...it should be "felt"...
Nothing to do and nothing to lose...
That's why there's so much time gone away...slipped right through my hand...
Have I became the opposite as before?
What day is it...and in what month?
When my clock stopped...
Now...this clock never seemed so alive...
When reality hits me...
and I don't know why...I can't keep my eyes off of you...
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Argh~! Nothing coming outta my mind...
Words don't form...
Sentences don't come together...
Not to mention a whole bunch gibberish is also hard to pump out now...

Well...at least SOME came out...
Why do I run out of inspiration sometimes?
There are a few reasons...
First, I'm very dumb...I need a lot of time to torture myself before I can form out something...
Second, I'm very blessed...Bad things turn away when they saw me...That's why there's no news going around...
On a second thought...actually no...Bad things happen alright...Interest things isn't happening everyday...and I'm not a blogger who writes his everyday life...I write digested things from everyday life...Half digested sometimes...
Third, I'm a lazy guy...My pea brain isn't just dumb...it's also too lazy to think sometimes...
Well...
I've just spent a 5 useless minutes to exlain why I can't write things...and I looked back at what I wrote...That's a whole lot more words than I thought...O.o





Just received news:
S1acY first volleyball match is against our old friend/rival...S1sT...
This should be interesting.... XD
God bless~!
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No words from the heart recently...
Everything was just plain silence...
I like to keep it that way actually...
It gives me room to think...It gives me space to ponder...

Wondering around in your own mind for too long can be bad sometimes...
You start to become unrealistic...
Your dreams starts to intertwine with your life...
and when that happens...things can get a bit messy...
Although you have a smiling face put on all times...
Doesn't mean your inner self is the same as your costume...
When reality rip through your cover...
and left you bare...
It will be too late for you to pick up the pieces...
and even try to paste it back together...

Imagination...
Just enough of it...and you'll be considered a creative person...
Too much of it...then say hello to the asylum...

Sometimes...
It's good to be more realistic...
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Just when you think everything's fine...
Your whole world collapses...and you found out that you're living a dream...
Painfully...opened your eyes...
Violently...reality hits you...
Your heart drops and breaks...
When you've found out that you're no match for anything...
When you've discover that you're too weak for everything...

Unwillingly, you woke up from your dream...
and saw what you've missed when you're gone...
So badly you wanted...
to go back to sleep...
to slip back your dream...

But no...life doesn't work like this...
Everyday you wake up from your sleep...
Thinking back what you've just gone through...
Only to know that it was all just a dream...

But hey...life isn't that bad...
Everyday you wake up from your sleep...
Thinking back what you've just gone through...
It's up to you to choose to live the dream...or let it sleep in your mind...

You will not sleep through anymore dreams...
cause you know there are times of nightmare...
You will not close your eyes anymore...
cause you know there aren't any replays...

Live out your dreams...and not sleep through them...
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All to You...
I give it all to You...
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I am not a child now, I can take care of myself....

I musn't let them down now, musn't let them see me cry....

I'm fine....I'm fine....


I try, but it's so hard to believe...

I try, but I can't see what you see...

I try...


My whole world is changing, I don't know where to turn.

I can't leave you waiting, but I can't stay and watch the city burn;


I try and try to understand the distance in between...

The love I feel,

The things I fear,

In every single dream...











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Found alot of me old friends from primary school! =)
Don't know why, but it felt kinda weird seeing all my friends this old already...I still think they are the kid in primary uniform...
Now...
Everyone has walk back from seperate road...coming back together to share what they have seen, heard, touched, felt, experienced...
It's nice finding all of them...I like the old days...
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See the mountains, feel the breeze...
Watch the sun rise, count the stars...

Romans 1:20
For the invisible things of Him from the creation from the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; So that they are without excuse.

There's no excuse to deny the greatness of our Almighty Lord when we enjoy His creation.

Up a mountain, He brought me...to witness His wonders once more...I'm a weak and wicked servant...I am...but it is His unending love that pulled me back on my legs...
I've learnt...I've gained...I've enjoyed...His grace and mercy...
Through His servant...Through people around me...Through little things that happened...Through His creation...Through Him...





Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...
That saved a wretch like me...
I once was lost, but now am found...
Was blind but now I see...

Twas grace that thought my heart to fear...
and grace my fears relieved...
How precious did that grace appear...
the hour I first believe...

My chains are gone I've been set free...
My God my saviour has ransomed me...
and like a flood His mercy rains...
Unending love, amazing grace...





Back from Fraser Hill...pictures on fb now =)
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Looking at this blog that is almost dead is like looking at a mirror...
It's disastrous...the view of my thoughts...It's chaotic...
The sleepless nights left me...I've gotten too obsessed in lingering in my dreams...When I can run away from reality... When I can see my dream life...

Yes...it is a fact that I'm escaping from reality...for it hurts too much to see so many sorrows and pain all around me...right beside me...deep inside me...

Looking at the mirror...Reading the past...I looked back...and I regret doing that...
Choices that shouldn't be made...
Chances that should be grabbed...
Efforts that shouldn't be put...
Energy that should be used...

However, I'm grateful that I ended up at where I started...it's just that I have walked in a big circle...big meaningless circle...






Won't be around for 4 days...
Be going up a hill to quiet things down...
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Sunrise, Sunset,
No more regret.
Day pass, Night flies,
Choices, I've made...
*******
It's time to change the direction...
And head back to where I've started...
Step by step pulling me back...
Strength by strength turning me around...
I will not be distracted...
I will not be affected...
I will not be misguided...
I will not be offended...
I will not be defeated...
I will not be dependant...
I will be who I am and who I should be...
I should be who I am and who I will be...
Half a year wasted...
Half a year gone...
Half a year left-ed...
Half a year more...
People who wanted me to hate you...I'm sorry to tell you that you didn't succeed...Instead you have given me a big lesson...to never waste my time hating you anymore...
But still...
Please show some respect as friends...
As how I show mine to you...
Smile, what's the use of crying...
Smile, even though is tiring...
You'll know that life is still worthwhile...
If you just smile...
=)
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A forced smile...
A fake laugh...
No...
I'm not okay...





If there were no words,
No way to speak.
I would still hear you..

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you...

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
I'll be standing here
Until the end of time...

Let no moment be a waste...
Let no colours turn to grey...

No...
I'm not fragile...
I'm just sad...
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Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky...You'll get by...
If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through...for you...

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile...
What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile...
=)





1st day of 16 years old...
Smile =)
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It's time to add another number to me age...
Another year older...
More weights to put on...
And I hope more faith I will have
=)

Crossed into this age in a special way...
This is what I call..."Grow Up You Dumb"...
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Countdown anyone???
XD
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No...
Faith is losing...
No...
Heart is sinking...
No...
Hand is trembling...
No...
Tears are dropping...

The rainbow is behind the storm...
But when will this storm end?
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One Band...
One Sound...
Where is it now...?
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I miss...
Those days...
Sometimes...
Someone...

And the same question keeps popping up...
Why?



I don't understand... ... ... ...



It rains in your bedroom...
Everything is wrong...
It rains when you're here...
It rains when you're gone...

This is not happening...
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Once again...
The tiny sound of my fingers skipping upon the keys
Rings in my ear...
Even with my earphones on
Each last jingling of the keyboard
Can be heard over the music...
Feel the gentle wind from my fan above...
And the silent night falling deeper...deeper...

So quiet...
I can hear my own heart beating...
In the rhythm of uncertainty...
Unsure of what the night leads to...
Or what it brings...
For now...What I only know is...
The deeper the night is...
The more tired I will be...
But....don't forget...
The closer it will be to the crack of dawn...

Should I sleep through the night...
And miss the first light...?
Or...
Should I ride through the night...
And witness the dawn of a new page of my life story...?

Oh how much I love the night...
The moon hiding behind the clouds...
The world concealing in the shadows...
The story within the night...
It hurts so much...too much...
I can't sleep through it...but I know I must...
For it hurts even more...
But when I close my eyes...
Nightmares...come filling my night...

Where have the sweet dreams gone?

Like the moon...
They have hidden themselves behind the grey clouds in this silent night...
Sleeping...
Until I walk out of this shadow...

I really want to cry...

Night...
Speaks the best of me...
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I don't know if I've heard it correctly...
If it is...
Then...





=(






How many days...
How many chances...
I finally felt how those people felt before...
When we were all fighting for the 10 minutes' stage lights...
When we were all making the music that not only touches the audiences...
But most of all...
Our own hearts...

I miss those days...
When all of us...
Everyone of us...
Put our heart into our music...
One band
One sound

We are HHSB~
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Feel the warmth...
That only summer breezes can bring...
Sweet little notes of spring begin...
Nothing to fear...

Touch the cold...
That only winter snow can bring...
Brown yellow leaves of autumn falling...
Nothing to feel...

Smell the air...
That only happiness can bring...
One little door of future opening...
Nothing to find...

Sense the wind...
That only depression can bring...
Pure slight smile of me appearing...
Something hopeful...





12...... =p
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More injuries
You will get
If you do this...

And that's why our eyes are put in front...
To face our future...
And not our past...

I have chosen...
And so it be...





And then it rains in your bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here
And it rains when you're gone...
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Got a long way ahead...

And I'm not afraid...
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Want to ask...but don't know how...
Want to say...but don't know what...
Want to blame...but don't know who...
Want to cry...but don't know why...
Want to die...but don't know when...

When will that happen...?
I hope it never will...
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Colors fade to gray...
Every precious moment's now a waste...

Hoping it would pass...
The red light starts to flash...
It's time to wait...

And the black keys...
Never look so beautiful...
And a perfect rainbow never seems so dull...

I'd rather be myself...
Linger among the black keys...
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Like oil upon your feet
Like wine for you to drink
Like water from my heart
I'll pour my love on you

If love is like perfume
I'll lavish mine on you
Till every drop is gone
I'll pour my love on you...

Is there a way
To show the passion in my heart
To express how truly great I think you are

My dearest friend
Lord this is my desire
To pour my love on you...





What happened...?
Between us...
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Please...
Don't do this to me...
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Do you know what crying inside feels like?






Why...
Have I become like this...
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Another blow...
Then I think I'm done...





Finally completed creative writing... Such a dreadful task to do...
I'm not a sad-ending writer...
No matter how sorrowful the content is...
The ending of my story...
Is always happily ever after...
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Although we lost...
We ain't going to lose our spirits too...

I know I can't ask you guys to become professionals so suddenly...
I can only ask you guys to fight side by side with me...
And that's what I want...
And that's what I got...
Thank you guys~

There's still a volleyball inter-class competition...
Let's not forget that...
Hehe...
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That's the word to describe...
Morning til night...
Your essences drifting...

High up in the air...
Eventually dissappearing...
At last leaving traces of nothing...
RIght from that moment...
The rain came pouring back down...

Not showing what I really feel...
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That's the word to describe...
Morning til night...
Your essences drifting...

High up in the air...
Eventually dissappearing...
At last leaving traces of nothing...
Right from that moment...
The rain came pouring back down...

Not showing what I really feel...
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In the end...
I was marvelled by Your power once more...
You picked my heart strings so easily...
And brought me through Your wonders...

Thank You~






Ask you something...
Yeah~
Can I ask you this question...?
Sure, go ahead...
I want to question you...
Uh~ what question?
Can you answer me this question?
Erm...and your question is?
My question is: "Can I ask you a question?"
And my answer is YES...your question?
"Can you answer me directly to this question?"








I hope your answer...
is Yes...
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Darkness fall...
People snores...
Silence stays...
All the way...

Where can I...
Let my sigh...
Loom above the shadows...

Clock still ticks...
People sleeps...
Minutes passed...
Sleep I must...

When will I...
See my cry...
Fly above the meadow...






It is You Lord...
That lightened up my ways...
In times of desperate feelings...
or gloomy day...
You make me smile in ways I can't imagine...
Unto Your hands...
I commit my life...
With all I am...
Unto the palm of you hands...
Use me O' Lord...
Teach me to sing in times of sorrow...
Praise You in the wildest storms...
Give glory to You in Your blessings...
Bow down at Your presences...
Keep me O'Lord...
Away from temtations...
Away from sins...
Away from the world...
and close to Your kingdom to come...
Hold me O'Lord...
I love You...
Because You loved us first...
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I'm tired of this...





Where have you been?





You should have been with us right from the start...






And yet everything we have worked hard for...





Now dissappeared...





And "You" !






Who appears to be the one to be stirring all the trouble...





Please leave us alone...





"You"! The one preventing us from reaching the high heavens...





Give us peace~!
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Night...
When everything that breathes
Steps into another dimension of their own...
Some went to paradise...
Some went to hell...
Some hopes to linger longer...
Some wishes that this is just a dream...

Night...
When not everything that breathes
Were doing the things that they should...
Some continued to work into the deep dark night...
Some were trying to get through the night...
Some crave for a longer night...
Some yearn for a peaceful night...

Some...
Were typing their blog...
To find out why...
Why can't they always do the things they wanted...
Why can't they find the perfect way...
Why can't they slow down their pace...
Why can't they stop and think...
Why can't they understand...
Why can't they learn...
Why can't they...

Only...
In the deep night...
Can those who are restless...
Realize what have they done...
Apprehend what should they do...

They should say out their feelings...
They should be truthful...
They should conquer their nightmares...
They should have courage...

Night...
When things should be quiet...
The sound in the silence...
The rile in the serene...
The light in the dark...
The life in the dead...
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Today's Agape we had an interesting activity...
Sharon got us all acting out creative things...Although some not completed...but I can see that everyone have put their effort into it...and the result was quite astonishing...
Thanks to Sharon who had gave such a creative activity for us to do...






Actually...
Situations like this...
Can always be there...
If we are really having a fellowship...
Which means...we gather together in the name of the Lord...
Which means...we do things as what the Lord has told us...
Which means...we love one another (awww~ )

Which leads to a happy little fellowship...







Have joy when suffering...
Have faith when persecuted...
For in Him...
Who strenthens us...
We can do anything...

He let me learn things through different ways everyday...
In good of in bad times...
Joyful or suffer...
He will still show me He's the boss around...
And no one messes with the boss...
=)
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Sometimes...
It's worth a thousand tries before you can be successful in anything...




Even how hard this battle is going to be...
We will fight on...
Even how hot the sun is going to be...
We will stand up...
Even how tough you guys are...
We will not back down...

We will throw 1000 times...
We will run 1000 meters...
We will use what ever God has planted in us...




It's not that I give up...
It's not that I'm scared...
It's nothing about me actually...
It's not about me losing hope...
It's not about me looking down...
It's about the others actually...








Notes can be reach in a thousand ways...
When you can't reach the note you desire...
You don't always have to find another note...
You just have to find the perfect way to hit it perfectly...
=)
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A nice song by the Carpenters...




Why do birds
Suddenly appear,
Everytime
You are near...

Just like me,
They long to be,
Close to you...

Why do stars
Fall down from the sky,
Everytime
You walk by...

Just like me,
They long to be,
Close to you...

On the day that you were born
The angels got together,
And decided to create a dream come true...
So they sprinkle moondust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes so blue...

That is why
All the girls in town...
Follow you,
All around...

Just like me
They long to be
Close to you.....





Why suddenly this song???
A big lesson to learn...
Justin brought us to his sister's wedding to perform on stage...Our 2nd time together...playing music...to bunch of peoples...
The thing is...There was another band there...An official, genuine, and real~~~~ PRO band was there...Playing about 20 songs altogether...They have a keyboard, guitarist, and drummer...pretty much like us....but they have a singer also...which made their band look better...And whats more spectacular about them is their keyboard-player plays the piano and bass at the same time...making the whole band sounding like 5 men band...

To sum it up...
They were the pros....




Why this song...?
Bcuz they played this song so perfectly...Justin and me (and Dong Wei probably, cuz he was scared like shit XD) was stunned by their performance...8 years of experience the band had...Ours...maybe 3 months old...and we were on the same stage they stood on...

The ending was....well...





Ladies and gentlemen...
Close to you...
A reminder
A target
A goal
For us...






*It's been a long long time since I updated my blog... I think I've lost the great sensation of typing my feelings...*sigh...




Choir ~ 7 days
Basketball ~ 2 days
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4 days of band camp...
1 night of performance...
3 days of Taman Negara...
After a tiring week...I have finally found the chance to sit down in front of my beloved laptop and type in this blog...
=)





The 4 days of camp was...well...tiring...exhausting...killing...But thanks to the Almighty God...I made it through...and better...everyone else made it through too...(Thank God XD)
I think without the many many help of many many people/friends/teacher/etc...this camp & concert & exchange can't succeed... So I wanna grab this chance here...to say a big big THANK YOU~! I can't list out the names of everyone that helped because there were too many... Sry guys... =p
Still...thank you~!





The 2nd performance of the 3 musketeers...Xuan Jing...hope this may be a very very important experience to you...Next time...please don't ask us to perform together with another great band...unless we are good enough...I don't wanna die in front of another band... T.T
But to sum it up...we were pretty good up there...Great job guys~!






3 days of close contact with the oldest rainforest in the world... Do you know...that we, the malaysians have the oldest rainforest in our country??? It was a spectacular place...On the first night we went for night jungle trekking... Saw some scary spiders...scorpians...and even some species that the guide don't even know (somemore found by me...hehe)...2nd day morning...We climb Bukit Tele***** (Sorry...weird name...forgotten)... the whole length is 2.5 km...Grandpa and grandma rest half way through cause it was too hard for them to climb...We saw God's wonders on the the peak...although not high enough...we can still enjoy the breeze together...
Then we head to the canopy walk...The bridge was all 40 feet up high from the ground... After lunch...we went for cave exploring...At first I was only expecting a really big cave with shallow water and little light...Only one from what I've expected is in the cave...There wasn't much light in the cave...but the water was deep enough to make half your body wet...and the the cave small enough to make you crawl on the floor... And what's more spectacular is...There were BATS...hundreds of them...hanging upside down above our heads... At first I'm a bit scare of them...Afraid that they will all fly at the same time and attack us...But after a few minutes...I just treat them as rats...with wings...They were quite cute actually...XD

But their shit wasn't as cute as them...Shit all over the floor...ceiling...wall...it's EVERYWHERE~! Remember what I said just now? We have to crawl at some points when the ceiling was so low...and on the floor...we have shit water...the ceiling covered with droppings...the whole scene...urgh*

Not to mention the smell... ARGH~!

After the cave...we went "rapid shooting" (that's what I've heard)... We were all splashed wet on the speed boat... So refreshing after the horrible "shitty" experience in the cave....Then we went to visit the orang asli living inside Taman Negara...Learnt some survival skills...shoot some photos...and off we go for dinner...

2nd night we didn't do anything...But I played a different version of mafia with the kids... OMG...






And at last...I'm back to the comfort of my home...In front of my lovely computer...with the cooling air-cond...listening to relaxing music...
Ahhh~~~~
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Tomorrow be the start of the first camp I organized...
I know I'm really really bad at this...All those unfinished knots lying around...Wanna apologize to EVERYONE first for not giving my 100% effort into this...making this camp looking not nice...But now we have still reached this far and there is no way we can turn back...God bless me...and us...





Won't be around for 4 days...
*sigh...




Day 5...
Bamboo is still waiting lor.... =)
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Unequal beats, my heart is having...
Depressing thoughts, my mind is thinking...
Uneasy stress, my body is taking...




Where have you guys been to? Can't find you guys anywhere...Phone ya all also didn't answer... T.T






Day 4...
What can I say...?
We are only one day nearer...
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Spent half of me day at school... Reached there at approximately 8.30am to do the booklet for our camp...It's a really cute and nice little booklet made by Si Wei and Zhi Qi...Thanks for doing a great work......After that...Played basketball...Went somewhere...and threw my whole afternoon away doing useless things actually... =.=!





Stress?
Pressure?
Worries?
Carrying weights I can't bear...But I just can't put down this weight...I know deep down in my heart that if I really take on this thing...I will have to throw away some other things...and this will be a very hard thing to carry...So lets just carry it together...shall we?







T.T
Slowly dragging...dragging...
Feel like sleeping and not wake up until that day =p
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Today's marching...About 8 band mates fainted...and most of them (If I remembered correctly) are boys... ==!!!





So many sudden things happening on me...I even had a nightmare when I took my nap...It's so real...and so weird...like it's telling me something...Ah forget it...The mind can really play games at you when you are so depressed...After this week....I really wanna take the whole week off...

First stop next week...will be "Taman Negara"...The long awaited family trip...It has been a really really long time I haven't spent my holidays with my family...LONG time...Almost every holiday in the past...I was either occupied by band practices...or chuch drama...Now I get a 3 days trip...having a special time out in the nature...

Second checkpoint...will be Sunway =) muz play like crazy...cuz we aren't meeting for a week and can't chat too... Bamboo misses panda...

Third checkpoint...Still don't know what...still don't know when...still don't know who...So feel free to take me with you wherever you goin' =)








Day 2...
I now know what you mean of the time so long...The time is ticking so slow for now...T.T
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Words by words...
Minutes by minutes...
Slowly slipping away from my hands...
Signifiying the leaving of you...
And now....you did....
Only a few more days panda =)





@#$%&*....
Plz don't do this to me...
I can't handle such weight at the same time...I will really crumble...It's so hard to....and so...argh~! This is almost mental torture for me...T.T
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Very very very busy...
Very very very stress...
Very very very confused...






But still...I can't resist the temptation of joining the "Teacher & Student Choir Competition"... I just love playing with music too much...









This be the song we're playing =)


Always there...




A nice song writen by Rolf Rovland...Although not sure who is the target in his song...But we can always direct it to our dearest teachers...


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At last...I've not fail in chinese this time =)
Although it is a mark not so pretty to look at...but for me...That's my effort for it...
Until I gotten every last subject...I will not post it online first... =p





Wanna thank someone for spending a night and a burnt finger to do such a...
Wonderful...Amazing...Astonishing...Superb...Fantastic...Brilliant...and so many more expressions for this...
Where was I?
Oh ya....
Made such a...nice thing for me... ^^
I was really down that time...But this action gave me some light in my heart... =)













There's only 1 week left....To organize this camp...
There's only 1 day left...To shoot the commercial video...
There's only 1 hour left...To call someone for someone's birthday.... =D
There's only 1 minute left...To take my bath and go do all the things left...




Do everything through Him who strengthens me, I will...
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I can do anything through Him who strenthens me...




After exam...
It's the start of the thrilling round(s) of stress...pressure...and whole lots of FUN~!
Adui...




So "wordless" these days...
Yet I feel a urge to yell out a bunch of things...
The feeling to scream into my pillow...
The momentum to spit out my feelings...
Just not today...
=)
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Believing as I do that man in the distant future will be a far more perfect creature than he now is, it is an intolerable thought that he and all other sentient beings are doomed to complete annihilation after such long-continued slow progress.
Charles Darwin.
Are man becoming a more perfect creature? Are we heading towards a brighter future?
Evidence proofs that we are not moving forward...
The truth tells us that we are not becoming perfect...
In fact...We are all moving backwards...
When I'm in my 2nd year in Junior High... My biology textbook taught me how the species in this wonderful world originated... This is absurd actually...The way they taught... Misleading people into the mist of lies... Covering people's eyes to see the TRUE creator of this world...
Why is this theory accepted widely? This is because people wants to deny the existence of a maker of this world... How miserable are we...
Charles Darwin theory not only lead people away from God...But he put us on the track of our own doom too... As we can see...The idea of racist also originated from this theory... People think that they are much more evolved (especially whites) than others...Thus it's their right to have better things than others...It's their claim to do what they want...Survival of the fittest... Only the best moves on... It's that what we want? Kicking out those that aren't perfect enough? We are only heading towards the extinction of ourselves... We are killing ourselves...THIS...is what the theory is bringing us to...
A perfect world...is made up of in-perfect things...
A true theory won't change...A true fact must be consistent...And the theory of natural selection isn't anything like that... Through breakthroughs and new achievements in science and technology...The theory is in crisis of being taken away...For the new evidence we get everyday...Are hitting down this theory badly... A genuine verity won't be questioned by new things...and this authentic theory...is that there is a Designer behind this good world...
Even Charles Darwin himself have said that if it could be demonstrated that any complex organ existed, which could not possibly have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications, his theory would absolutely breakdown.
And now...we have proof...
It's such a pity he has left this world earlier not to see his own theory's unconvincing points...
He proposed that all living beings on earth are like this by means of "Natural Selection". Natural selection acts to preserve and accumulate minor advantageous genetic mutations. Suppose a member of a species developed a functional advantage. Its offspring would inherit that advantage and pass it on to their offspring. The inferior (disadvantaged) members of the same species would gradually die out, leaving only the superior (advantaged) members of the species. Natural selection is the preservation of a functional advantage that enables a species to compete better in the wild. Darwin wrote, "...Natural selection acts only by taking advantage of slight successive variations; she can never take a great and sudden leap, but must advance by short and sure, through slow steps..."
It is at this point, we can ask the question of "irreducibly complex system". An irreducibly complex system is one composed of multiple parts, all of which are necessary for the system function. If even one part is missing, the entire system will fail to function. Every individual part is integral.
The cells in our body...The complex organ that we have...The byzantine sensory organ...all of these cannot exist when one individual in it is absent... And what Charles Darwin proposed is that natural selection only takes in functions that are beneficial to the body... When we do not have all of the individual parts the thing won't function at all...thus bringing no benefits to the body...and so...based on the theory it should be taken away by natural selection...So why do have such complicated systems and organs in us?
When you put a designer behind this remarkable creation, all mist will be cleared up...
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Why now...?
Why you...?
Why me...?
Why her...?
Why him...?




My emotions are being dragged by things I don't wanna hear...
My heart is holding up weights I don't wanna bear...
Why throw it at me...When I should be having my time with someone else...
Why this kind of time...When I want to spend it with someone else...
When you see this...
I hope you know that I'm a human being as well...
A simple one...
But I have the Lord carrying me...
His magnificent plan...His infinite wisdom...
Have faith in him friend...













To another friend...
Sorry...I think I know what I've done...and I hope that you can understand that it's hard to avoid it...
Or...
I think I can't do it...Cause this just isn't the right time...
I'm dumb you know? So...please understand...
Please forgive me...













Such a depressing day today...
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One with a thinking not matured...shouldn't put him/herself into the situation of mature matters...
Matters like relationships...
Relationships like between 2 persons...
2 persons like a man and a woman...





Please know that love isn't just a feeling...
It's actually NOT a feeling...
Not one bit...Not one freckle...
Love...
Is EXPRESSED by feelings...


Don't be blinded by the EMOTIONS rushing out from your heart...
Don't take this as a GAME so easy for you to play...
Sacrifices must be made...From both sides...
Understandings must exist...At both sides...
Love will come...For both sides...




I've seen some depressing things recently...
The whole thing "grew" from the little seed of "feelings"...
"Watered" by "Blind thoughts" and "Childish"...
It grew into a tree...
Not strong enough to stand against the "Winds of Truths"....
It crumbled down to the soil...
Now the thing that's left to "decompose" it...is "Time" and "Space"...
Man...will be forever a man...
Forever making mistakes...
Forever falling to the ground...
Why? Why so many failures, injuries, and realities to hurt us?













Turn to God...is our only answer...
God Bless ya ALL in exam...
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What shall I write???
Anyone have any idea???






Maybe I should be studying lol...
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I'm confident...but I shall not have high hopes...
Not matter what the result is...
I will accept it... =)
Because...
Everything that happens...has it's purpose...




It's so near...and yet I'm still sitting here...facing my laptop...
Gambateh to everyone in EXAM~! ! !
WOoOhooOooo
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Was suppose to be happy these few days...I WAS happy these few days...until today...
Everything in my mind seem to have gone wrong...
I feel so weak doing everything...
I feel so wrong doing anything...
It's like every move I take will lead me to disaster...
And today...
There's finally one move that hit me right on the face...
Stabbed my heart...
And kicked me at the butt before it went away...
=(
I can use a very simple word to express what I feel now...
S-a-d......
Such short word...with only 3 letters...yet it covers my whole heart...and not letting one bit of sunshine into me...not letting a freckle of joy into me...
T.T




JOSEPH NG YI LE~! ! !
You shouldn't be here crying like a baby! ! !
You shouldn't be moaning like a dog! ! !
You shouldn't be looking yourself down at this moment! ! !
THIS MOMENT...You should be standing back up...Looking back up...Walking back up...to that stage...Even though things seems so hopeless...Miracles do happen...When you ask for it...and chase after it...
I can do anything through Him who strengthens me...
And it's about time that I know this principal...
It's time...
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Sitting by your side...
Listening to your words of encouragements...
Feeling your love towards me...
Spending your precious time with me...
Sharing your stories with me...

Doing your best to nurture me...
Working your hardest to take care of me...
Gave up your favourite hobbies to be by my side...
Putting your height down to me...
Just because you love me...


Love, you've given...
Care, you've given...
Strength, you've given...
All to me...
Never in my life, can I repay you all...

Time, you've given...
Words, you've given...
Everything, you've given...
All to me...
Never ever in my life, can I repay you all...

Give me time to do my best...
Give me strength, I'll do the rest...
Working hard to prove to you...
I really really do love you...













To my dearest...
Pretty Mom...and...Handsome Dad...

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I'll be there someday,
I can go the distances...
I'll find my way,
If I can be strong...
I know every mile,
Will be worth my smile...
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong...
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Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth...
Would care to know my name...
Would care to feel my hurt...

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star...
Would choose to light the way...
For my every wandering heart...

Not because of who I am...
But because of what You've done...
Not because of what I've done...
But because of who You are...




I am a flower quickly fading...
Here today and gone tomorrow...
A wave tossed in the ocean...
A vapor in the wind...
Still You hear me when I'm calling...
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling...
I am Yours...

I am Yours...



* * * * * * * *
I suddenly got this idea... a real great combination of two dramas... Should be able to make it ENTERTAINING...and also EDUCATIONAL...
I will bare this in mind...of course I need to record this down somewhere...
For next year...
We will be back~!




On stage next summer...
"Day at the Museum 2"
Muahahahaha~~! ! !
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We had joy, we had fun...
We had seasons in the sun...



Glad you guys made yourselves a great hit~!
Even though...We didn't get the places...
WE GOT A CONSOLATION~!

Don't forget in the very beginning...
We just wanna get into finals...
To perform on that stage...
WE DID IT~!

Don't forget the time when we're going for preliminary round...
We just wanna get over it...
To end the pain faster...and not wanting to get in finals...
We got in...
WE DID IT AGAIN~!

Don't forget we all said we didn't really wanna get the prizes...
We just don't wanna lose too much to the others...
Because they are too "strong" in our mind...
We rocked the stage...
WE DID IT AT LAST~!

We entertained them...
How proud I was for you guys when you guys act out and make them all laugh...
How proud I was for you guys when they applauded and screamed for us...

Tony...
Nice pattern... =)
Hope to work with ya again...

Britney...
Sry for throwing the thing at you... really talented...even though there are some parts that I gave you at the very last minute...you did excellent~!

Villain 1 (Lady Gaga)...
Thanks for being such a great actor...even though you seem to lost some images on that stage XD...
But I'm sure you had the time on stage...
Thanks for helping me out when I was debating... =)

Villain 2...
Great performance...you were acting it all out by concious already...means you're quite natural... =) And I know this should be a real great big step of you standing in front of that crowd...NICE RITE?!?! XD

Thinker...
As I have said...Your part is a classical... And indeed you made it the classical... People kept on talking about your "I'm thinking"...Nicely done =)
Really sry for shouting at you... You know me... Always very pek cek at those moments... =p

Hitler...
WoW~! You've shocked me... From Junior 1 til Junior 3...You were always the one sleeping here and there... Now... You are a very excellent, magnificent, and incredible actor...Really hope to have you working with me again... =)

Sherlock Holmes...
Who? What? When? Where? Why? When I heard those words coming out so smoothly... I was really happy... =) Great acting~! I will repay you by helping you out at Hotel City la... hehe

Fa Mulan...
You ar...XD...It's really a good thing I've pulled you in my team... Putting more colour to this drama... and letting the generals have some chance to perform what they really can...XD
Great singing~! Great acting~! Great performance...

3 Generals...
Lazy to type out 3 differently...hehe....
Basically...You guys made the atmosphere more entertaining...and high...Every last one of you were daring to act it out...for that I'm happy... =)

Stage Effects...
Thank You Shii Yueh... You probably saved my life... Or else I will be crushing my head into the wall thinking about the effects... Thanks for helping out so much... Same as Hui Ting, glad to have you on our team... =)






Director???






Lets forget about him shall we?
=)






So glad to have You there...
Even though I didn't see You...
I feel Your words through my hands...
Thank You...
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*deep breath...
So...
Tomorrow's the day...
The day we all have not been thinking of...
The day we all have not been prepared for...
The day we all have not yet met...
The day...we all...shall remember... =)




I just love the stage...Doing something in front of rows and rows of audience...
When everyone have their eyes set upon you, and ears wide opened... Just to watch what are you going to do next...








Looks like I've found You~
=)
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It seems a very long time since I write my blog freestyle...
Just words...
Just expressions...
Just feelings...

Maybe I spend too much time on the world...
And not stopping myself down...to take a look around me...
A leaf falling down swiftly side to side until it kisses the ground...
A bird flying freely around singing hymns to encourage the saddened...
Not a second I spared myself to listen to what my heart is talking to me...
Not a second I spent to just follow where the music brings me...

Glad that I'm doing it now...
But it's awfully late...
And it's time to sleep...





Goodnitez...to You...
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24 more minutes to E-challenge practice...
*sigh....
Why do I want to make myself so tired...?




The actors coming for practice haven't even reach half of the whole team...
What kind of actors are these...?! I don't mean those who came...you guys rock!
But those who don't have the passion for the stage...
Those who don't have the guts to stand there and perform...
Those who have big mouths...yet so tiny heart...
Those who I really wanna shout at them: " Shut the **** UP ! ! !"
Those who don't respect others...
Those who don't care about others...
Those who make the whole team worse...
Those who really deserves a long sentence of: "**** YOU ! ! !"




We have already made it this far...
This means that each and everyone of you guys have the talents to stand at that stage...
This means the prize is there for us to grab...
Of course the competition will be really tough...
But I don't think giving up and embarassing yourself on stage is going to help ANYONE...
It ain't going to help me in anyway...
*sigh....
Just hope you guys can cooperate with me better...








One leader is clearly enough...
Sometimes...only one brain is better than alot of brains...
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A teacher said to his students...
"Let say there really is a God who created this world. Now, lets look at the greatest creation by God---Us, and we can see evil, sins, crimes...That means God also created evil itself, and if God created evil that means He Himself have sins as well...This is God who created the world?"

At this point, a bright little kid raised his hand before standing up...and said...
"Sir, let me ask you a simple question. Does 'cold' exists?"
Teacher replies: "Of course it exist! Don't you feel cold itself?"
"Well sir, actually it doesn't exists...By the explanation of physics, 'cold' is the absence of 'hot'. So basically it doesn't exists, you feel it because there's no 'hot'. Let me ask you another question. Does darkness exists?"
Teacher replies him again: "Absolutely positively exists."
"No sir, you're wrong again. We can't do experiments on darkness but only light. Darkness is the absence of light. These things are basically the same with sins and God. Without God, there will be sin, so God didn't created sin and absolutely don't have sins in Him."




The kid left the teacher speechless...




This intellect kid...is Albert Einstein...
Such wise words...came out of his little mouth when he was only in primary school...




I'm really falling...for what?
For You...
=)
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When I'm less than I should be...
When I just can't face the day...
When darkness falls around me...
and I just can't find my way...
When my eyes don't clearly see...
and I stumble through it all...
You I lean upon, you keep me strong...
And you rise me when I fall...

You are there when I most need you...
You are there so constantly...
You come shining through, you always do...
You are always there for me...

When life brings me to my knees...
When my back's against the wall...
You are standing there right with me...
Just to keep me standing tall...
Though a burden I might be...
You don't weary, you don't rest...
You are reaching out to carry me...
And I know I'm heaven-blessed...

You are there when I most need you...
You are there so constantly...
You come shining through, you always do...
You are always there for me...



Thank you...
For being there for me...
Life have push me down to my knees...
But only You can pull me up on my feet...
Standing tall...on mountains of challenges...

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You're half a world away, standing next to me.
It seems that every day, I'm loosing you almost invisibly.
Though you are near, I can't reach that far.
Across to where you are and so you stay.
Just half a world away....

And I would cross the universe for you.
What good would it do if you weren't even there?
Till you return and until your way is clear.
I will be here, not half a world away.

You're half a world away and no one is to blame.
If love outlives it's day and turns into an ember from a flame.
I love you as before till words will be no more.
Till I can't find a way to where you stay.
Just half a world away....

And I would cross the universe for you,
but what good would it do if you weren't even there?
Till you return and until your way is clear.
I will be here,
Not half a world away....




Why so far away, when you are right beside me?
Why so far away, when I want you to stay?
Such beautiful melody accompanied with exquisite words...
Perfectly expressed my feelings...
Though near, but I can't reach that far....
And so I stay, but half a world away....
Ceaselessly, stay that way....




你要保守你的心,胜过保守一切。
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Finally done with the debate...
Even though how tough it is to prepare for this tournament...
How stressful it is to go through so much devastating debates...
and not forgetting how iniquitous situations we've been through...
Like what one of the adjudicator told us..."You are here to learn essentially, winning stays second in your priority."
And like what he said...we learnt...we experienced...and we grew stronger and brawnier after each debates...

Even though we shouldn't have lost 2 of the matches...(4 matches altogether)...We still learnt alot of valuable lessons...For instance: NEVER EVER trust all adjudicator!!! They might not have debate backgrounds and only judge you by the feeling of being convinced no matter how sturdy your point is, but if your speech is not attractive...you lose...Those are noob adjudicators...
And we lost because of the same reason that we haven't have a good speech...
If we had adjudicators which have debate backgrounds (There's 3 ads...but only the chief is a debater), we could have won 3 matches...1 clear win and 2 trash win...
The first match we lost because of some strategy problem...we walked right into the trap they've set up...T.T...and so we all agree on that lost...
But the second match, we used the same strategy that our last opponent used on us...all through the debate we grabbed on to their weakness and clear it out loud...The Chief Adjudicator was sure that we won at the last speech of ours...but he was "out-voted" because the other 2 adjudicator says that the opposition have a better speech and smoother presentation...

WE WERE SO PISSED OFF!

2nd match's real margin (Given by the Chief Adjudicator): 3-0, a clear win...what a waste...
NVM...everyone told us to look forward and take this as an experience...The adjudicator told us we did good and keep it up...just be careful with presenting our speech to dumb dumb judges...He can't do anything to help us also because the other two ads won't change their mind...

But at the 3rd match...we lost for the same reason...SAME STUPID REASON...but this time the Chief adjudicator somehow "forced" the other 2 adjudicator to say out loud their reason for giving the other team a win..."They did well on their speech, smooth and clear language..." Bla bla bla...ALL on their way of talking...but not because of their POINTS...
The Chief then came up and said why he gave US the win...He said: "Debate...is all about THINKING...MIND GAMES...CONVINCING POINTS...and STRATEGIES to make your opposition look bad...Hin Hua gave fervent points and made it clear that the opposition didn't manage to answer questions that they gave...and their 2nd speaker, Ta Yong (He liked Ta Yong's style... XD) made alot of constructive POI's (Point of Information)... the 3rd speaker (Me...) pointed out the main clash all through the debate and made their stand (He liked my content but not my speech...LOL)...lastly the 1st speaker's reply speech (Bryan...a joker more than a debater...lmao) made it clear that they were the winning team..."
Well...basically the other 2 adjudicator have nothing else to say...such dim-witted guys...

3rd match's real margin (Also given by the Chief Adjudicator): 6-0...A very surprising score...We finally TRASHED someone...XD...But we were once again "out-voted" by 2 obtuse judges...It was this Chief Adjudicator who told us to learn for these matches but not to be just chasing the winning dream...and he also told us to imagine what we will be like if we continue to debate in such a way...and what we will be like when we are debating in Universities...Loved that guy...

Our one and only win...which was the last match...We won...because they were 2 adjudicator with debate backgrounds...Of course we will be a really lame team to lose against another scanty team...But we still asked the one and only adjudicator who gave us the lost...He said: "Your counter proposal ain't really clashing with the topic today... You only proposed it out but I don't really see it engaged with the topic..."

What the heck????

Topic: This House would allow prisoners to donate their organs in exchanged for shortening sentences...

And our counter proposal is...Give them shortened sentences based on their conducts...and if they served the government for public service...How can it be a COUNTER proposal if it didn't clash with the topic...We were talking about this thing because we don't want the other thing, doesn't that seems clashing to you?

But...never mind...We still won in the end didn't we... =)

4th match's margin (Given by the Chief I suppose): An incredible margin of 11-0, which is unusual...but she said the opposition's mechanism was too...inadequate, inferior, deficient, mediocre.......Maybe I'm a bit too exaggerating...well basically it's too poor...another adjudicator gave 0.5-0...close win...don't really know why...

Well...to sum it all up...
We had a "great" time being pissed off by "professional" adjudicators...
and most of all...
We have learnt ALOT of things...and grew by feets...
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Ups and downs...
And...
High and low...
And...
Right then left...
Forward and backward...

I've heard someone said...
Being busy, is blessed...
Because it takes you away from sad memoirs...
What a notable sentence...What a phrase...What a dream...
Impermanently takes us away...
How I wish...and I suppose most will also wish this way...
That this provisional getaway can become undeviating...
A true escape from our grief...

Such enormous stress...
Such colossal pressure...
Such mammoth worries...
WAH~~~~!

Sometimes...
I feel like quiting...
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I am not here to boast...
Cause the one that put the most effort is Him...
I am not here to boast...
Cause the one that put the most strength is Him...
I can do anything through Him who strenghtens me...
And I did it... =)

I even had a fever before I delivered my speech...
So...I prayed and prayed...Prayed that my head will be conscious...
They said that I was trembling when I walked out...Another said I my legs were shaking when I gave my speech...
Wow??!!
I had my time up there...and wished it was longer...
Now I shall move on...
Believing that He is forever there...Carrying me...
All through the day...and night...
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It's been a long time since my last entry...
Wow...
So much work...
So much pressure...
Now I really have to stop...and breathe...
IN...OUT....




Don't know what to write...
Actually I do...
Don't know where to start...
Actually...I really don't know...
Oh forget it...




I should take my eyes off some things for a while...
They're really tiring me out...
Next Tuesday...Elocution...Yep...I entered the finals...WHOO~!
Next Saturday/Sunday...Debate...HICT...hmm....
I haven't accomplish my mission of Band Camp...
I haven't started running the project for Band Tour as well...
I am SOOOoooo INEFFICIENT...




I will not let history repeat itself...
I will grab this chance...
For how many notes it takes... =)
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Happy Birthday Sista~!

Even tho sometimes you really pissed me off...

But I will always love you and call you my lovely sista~!








Hope you can be more beautiful, pretty, cute, adorable, good-looking...Anything you like...AND of cause...treat me and Joshua betta...XD







Save the BEST for the last...
And so...
Let me be the last to wish you Happy Birthday~~
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When somebody loved me...
Everything was beautiful...
Every hour spent together...
Lives within my heart...

And when she was sad....
I was there to dry her tears...
And when she was happy, so was I
When she loved me....

Through the summer and the fall...
We had each other, that was all...
Just she and I together...
Like it was meant to be...

And when she was lonely...
I was there to comfort her...
And I knew that
she loved me...

So the years went by....
I stayed the same...
But she began to drift away....
I was left alone...
Still I waited for the day...
When she'd say,"I will always love you"

Lonely and forgotten...
Never thought she'd look my way....
And she smiled at me and held me...
Just like she used to do...

Like she loved me...
When she loved me...

When somebody loved me...
Everything was beautiful...
Every hour spent together....
Lives within my heart...

When she loved me...




...... ...... ...... ......
A great song from Toy Story 2...
Just putting it here to share...
It's actually about friendship...
But...the true meaning depends on how you are devour by it...
...... ...... ..... ......
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Exam finally finish...
I think my chinese really really dead...

...
Guess what...
Yesterday went to KLCC...
I won't go there for shopping...and I'm not a science center fan...
So...
There's only one reason why I would go there...
MPO~!
A little Mozart evening...
3 Mozart famous pieces...
~Eine Kline Nachtmusik
~Violin Concerto No.3
~Symphony No.40 in G-minor (My favourite)

Wait for the photos...
We took a photo with the conductor...and the other I guess he would be the concert master...
Nice~~~
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No heaviest???
Cause it only gets heavier...and heavier...
Cause it doesn't end...




I've notice something...weird around me...
Something...that I can't really accept...
Maybe it's my own opinion...
But I think this should be what we all are looking for...

What is love?
Love is patient,
Love is kind...
It does not envy,
It does not boast...
It is not proud...
It is not rude...
It is not self-seeking...
It is not easily angered...
It keeps no record of wrongs...

Love does not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth...
It always protects
It always trust...
It always hopes...
And always perseveres...
Always perseveres...

If it doesn't...I don't think that is a so-called love...
Today...people don't see love more than the feeling for each other...
If love is only based on feeling...Then I guess you wouldn't settle down with only one person...
Cause that feeling ends...

My heart desires for what I do not want...
I want what my heart does not desire...
Act as I feel...
Or do as I should...








The beast awoken in his cage...
Roaring...
Shouting...
Screaming...
Fighting...
To get out of his cage...
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