4 hours straight...what can be worse??? ha-ha-ha-haa...
Don't ask me what am I talking about...Not in the mood to explain...the 4 hours turned my head inside out...



I've finally got the program I've been finding for ages...
The program to make music~!
Now I can finally and officially start writing my own music...
What can better??? HAAaaa....



Nothing else to say for now...
I lost the light to write again...
Guess I should be sleeping now...
Nitezzzz

Phew...
Another sleepless night sitting in front of my dear laptop...
I like the feeling of sitting in the dark...Just listening to the tapping sound that I make when I type this blog out...and my brother snoring in his bed...everyone else in their dreamland but only me still in reality...and recording the cruel reality...
It wasn't all cruel...
I'm grateful for some reality in my life too...Like not being in Haidi now...Where they face hunger, cold, and fear...Where they lost their families, friends and their home...I'm blessed...Cause I'm still here typing out these things...when they are sleeping out on the streets...Cause I'm still enjoying the peaceful night...when they are looking for shelter in the scary night...This is reality...and not all may like it...
We have to face it...no matter what it is...




Granpa's report seems to be very...interesting...
It is good news...But the doctor seems to be very not sure with the results...
The results says that it is good...
But the doctor says that it may be a mistake...
Who cares~! God do MIRACLES!!!
And I pray that He continue to show us His wonders!!!




Things are getting rougher...
Just hope that I can be tougher....

Things are getting a bit rough these days...
It's only been 20 days...
Are we heading for another wave of nonsense???
We don't need that...not this early...not forever!
It's a big world...but we still have to share it...
No...we don't need the things not needed...
And sit down...quietly...and enjoy the lessons and days we are going to have together for the next 3 more years...
You never know...In the future we might be seeing each other even after we decide to fly high...
Lets not break that fellowship we have now and build up a firm friendship together...We ARE in the same class after all... So much things to be done...to be accomplish...to be successful... to overcome... to enjoy... to live... to take... to share... to learn... anything you can think of it...we have much more to come...
Lets not head on for empty results...




Even though...I wrote those words....to make our class a better place...but not everyone will read this...I just hope...that we will have the best last 3 years in this school together......
There IS something I'd like to point out...
Some things that are not required...
Some things that are a bit over the limit...
Some things that are wrong...
We have to know whats the purpose of what we are doing...
Like for instance...
We go to school...so that we can learn...
We buy houses...so that we can have shelter for the night or storms...
We make rules...so that we can have peace among each other...
So...what's the purpose of having the PIC of discipline (PIC = Person In Charge...in case you don't know)...
Now...I know that the school have rules about tugging in your shirt...or having the right hairstyle...or wearing the right uniform...or wearing the uniform the right way...bla bla bla...
BUT...at class...the main purpose we are in the class...is to learn...OUR PRIORITY...is to learn...take in what teacher and devour and digest and make it yours...
NOW...tugging in my shirt...or having the right hairstyle...or wearing the right uniform...or wearing the uniform the right way...AIN'T GONNA HELP ME AT LESSONS...
I ain't gonna learn more...or devour more...or digest more...with my shirt either tugged in or let out...with my hair tidy and neat or long and fuzzy...you get my point...
SO...why not let me be comfortable and just learn...there's not a single need...NOT ONE REASON...NOT EVEN ONE TINY LITTLE POINT...I see that I SHOULD tug in my shirt to have my lesson...and that I SHOULD be punished if I don't...I am not a person who acts on pure emotion...I think logically before I wrote this blog...I thought of all the reasons...points...and from every angle...(maybe not all)...I just don't see the point of tugging in...making me smarter??? making me faster??? making me clever??? It's just no reason to be punish for something I feel right...Am I doing ANY HARM to others not tugging in my shirt???AM I making anyone NOT ABLE to have their lessons??? Apart from you trying to make me tug in my shirt I think there's no one else in this class having problems with their lessons..."I come in peace...with my shirt out".
Why not look at other things to be done...
Why not look at the environment when our lessons are being conducted...
Why not look and see the people making noises and disturbing others at lessons...
Even the teachers are starting to complain...Can't you feel anything???
I myself is being disturbed with the noise pollution...
Even if they're discussing about the lesson...doesn't mean they have the right to disturb others who wants to listen to the teacher...
Now I even think that sleeping is not ALL wrong...They aren't disturbing anyone...But bad for themselves only...So...it's right that you should find those people and remind them...But what about those disturbing others??? At least they're having their lessons??? LOL...think about it...
Oh ya...
Even the teacher didn't do anything to make us pass up the homework we need to pass...
But you...you made this rule...by YOURSELF...without our agreement...you made the rule and run it like everybody loves it... The teacher herself have other ways...that suits both student and teacher...a win-win situation...now you came in and said that even though teacher runs that way we are still going to follow this rule...IT'S A DEMOCRATIC WORLD!!! Where is OUR rights??!! Even the government needs to listen to the people...because it be the people's vote that keep them running on top...It be OUR votes that gave you this place...and it can be OUR votes that take away your place...so...REMEMBER that we are clever-minded living humans...We have rights as well...I know you wanna do your best and make it all very systematically...but...you still have to ask the others which are apparently more than the committee board... so ... you have to get your target aimed at the right place before shooting out your brilliant ideas...they are really brilliant ideas...But...used at the wrong place...

Human are a weird species...
When they are happy...they talk more...
When they are angry...they talk EVEN more...
It's a good thing I have this blog to release my anger...Now I feel better typing out the whole blog... no more anger... once passed... passed...

Still finding the light I need to write for scholastic...
I need the creative story...and best plot...the words can come later...
I don't even have a clue of what should I write!!!
I need peace and quiet to do that... but lately...I'm not staying up late and doing stupid things in the middle of the night...I have been very good these days...LOLZ...Cause I stepped in the new year a new way...I stepped into the toilet...and kept on visiting it for weeks...Not that NOT visiting the toilet is good...But visiting it at a large frequency is bitter and pain...I have been sick since new year til...now...That why I have been a very good boy these days...But without the night...Where can I get the light?!? After I recover...I will sure find someday...erm...some midnight to complete the masterpiece I need...Some night...again...




Tomorrow...my grandpa's health report will come out...He was suspected to have cancer... More details are on the report tomorrow...
Grandpa asked all of us to pray with him this night...This is the first time I heard him pray...out loud...My whole life...the first time...and it was about this...God really knows how to move people...He just knows it all...
I felt my heart burn when my grandpa peacefully speaks out his prayer to God...Deep in there is a soothing voice calming him down...Grandpa said that after he found blood when going to toilet and the test for it...he felt no pain or fear...for he know that God is with him... He has peace...and even gave all the glory to God... Asking us all to witness his commitment to God...I witness my grandpa's relationship with God...and pray that he will continue to walk with God to the very end...


I just hope the end isn't near yet...
I just pray...
After tomorrow...we will know...whatever the results are...God has His way...and will give peace whoever has faith in Him...and we will put our 100% faith in Him...




Maybe this is the night where I get my light...
I'm still feeling awake...
But there is still homework to do...




School band tomorrow...
Think I better sleep la...

Very very very busy...
That's the life I have been having...
Busy...busy...busy...life...
I haven't finish some of my homework also...
What am I so busy over for???
Why am I so busy???
When did I became so busy???
How did I become so busy???

I haven't been a true christian...I feel...
Haven't been holding my tongue...my heart...and my mind...
How could I be so selfish and rude...
I have to think more before I act in the future...I have to hold back my tongue...and sometimes my hand...
My mind has gone a bit numb...
I can't get the light to write...
There's a writing competition that I really want to do my best in it...
But my best just ain't coming out...

Getting a bit emo these days...
Sometimes I get triggered into the very high mode...then after a few hours...I feel nothing...I feel empty...This is a bad sign...
With God...I shouldn't be feeling that...I should be filled...With joy and peace...With strength and wisdom...I guess...I haven't be prioritizing the right thing...

I made a new song...
A song that came out of my heart...
It sounds like a simple melody...But when my mind have the words for it...I'm sure it can express my feelings...
The mind isn't working now...
I can't even write well now...Things just seem to get stuck...Words just seem so hard to find...Sentence ain't flowing smoothly...What am I talking about now??
I feel chaotic...Maybe I should listen to some music and just do my homework...



I can feel the Autumn breeze...

It's been quite a long time since I updated...
Dust are sticking on some windows...
Rust have started to emerge...
My mind and mouth starts to dry out from the new life I've just started...
It's a good thing Im still keeping up to pace...although I've been absent...
A rough new year...the first line of words that will come up to me if you ask me "How are you doing lately?"
Why rough?!
Cause sickness decided to come back to me and haunt me...
After the countdown to 2010...
I wasted the first half day of 2010 in the toilet...
That wasn't just it...
After school reopens...
I got myself sicked again...
Reason??? Food poisoning !!!
I had 5 days of fighting against my own stomach...Trust me...It feels bad...
Now...
I have sore throat...running nose...a bit of headache as well...
Not as bad as the food poison...But in a bad condition to study...work...practice...play...etc...
The stupid mosquitoes have come to disturb me as well...Im itching all over...Damn those ******* mosquitoes...

Well...Our class is getting hotter and hotter everyday...not just physically (due to the changes of seats...no fan above me now...)...but everyone have sparks of friendship between themselves and the class...Ain't that bad as I've thought...
Now...interesting matters...
Decided to come back to the back...
Dropped from 1st to 3rd...because of my bracelets...I always feel pain when I practice or perform...The position of my teeth keeps changing because of biting the clarinet too hard...So I went to 3rd...Not just easier...But I can still play without changing instrument...or else I will be beating the rhythms now...

I feel different this year...
I think differently this year...
I see things in ways I don't usually see before...
I do things I can't believe Im doing...
I have a strong urge to learn more and more...
New year new me perhaps...
Its time to grow into a new me...
Its time to grow...
and the time to go...

School reopened...
Busy life restarted...
Homeworks returned...

Actually...Im not that busy this year...
I will spend most of my time on my studies and music...or time to think about my future...or my band...or my fellowship...Well...will be quite busy again sometime...but not now...
S1ACY...Kinda not feeling comfortable in it...Maybe my old frens are all gone...The old noisy yet brilliant class now separated...
S1ACY...made up of different people from alot of classes...We don't know each other...yet...We now all stick together with those we are familliar with...which means from the same class before...But its still a really small group...and btw...there's only 13 boys in this class...the total is 50 students...How amazing...heh...




Feeling kinda...left out...
My self esteem level has gone low again...or maybe it's really true...
My way of working has gone wrong...Im doing the wrong things quite alot of times now...I feel...Poor...Weak...
I wanna be back on the frontline...being the first...be the strongest...I want it all...
Something has gone wrong...but I will not let it make me fall...again...




Textbook of Book-keeping is extremely...childish...(the book cover)
I feel like going back to Junior 1 studying it...

Yesterday,
Went to church...
Can't believe...we watched movies at the church...
This...I believe is the first...and also the last time we do this at church...
But we had our time at church...Even tho I felt some little guilt doing tat...
Hehehehe...

Today~!
Went back to school for the performance for the little form 1's that are joining the big Hin Hua family this year...
I can finally say they are small...WAKAKA
I got my PMR results also~! 1....2....3....tats it....3 A's~!
Science ( sure aldi )
Math ( oso sure aldi )
English (....)
then others....I do not want to share it here....^^




This year...
I will be officially in the Agape committee...
Serving...
Shi Yang told me some of his experience...And gave me some very meaningful words of encouragement...I always feel very same as Shi Yang... Now Im like walking the road he took...It's a good thing someone walked this road before...So that I can still ask for directions...
I will do my best...helping my bro...
Together...I believe God will bless us and make our Agape fellowship shine bright in His glory...



I still have to finish my holiday assignment...hehe